New Tranceiver Features to be Activated!

    BREAKING NEWS!

    It is not well known but for many years the major manufacturers of HF transceivers, have quietly fitted them with a special circuit that would cause your transceiver to internally combust should you use it to exhibit poor operating practices.

    Like maintaining a nuclear deterrent, they have always lived in hope that they would never be forced to activate this circuit. However manufacturers have been concerned for some time with the poor behaviour of many operators when using their equipment and what they have heard during the current Tromelin Island DXpedition has forced them to act. Therefore on 0000z Saturday 15 November 2014 a coded message will be sent to all transceivers they have sold activating this circuit.

    Once activated your transceiver will internally combust if you undertake any of the following:

    a) Calling when the DX station is transmitting something other than your call sign – it can sense the DX station’s signal and what is sent

    b) Calling when you can’t hear the DX station – it can also sense when the DX station’s signal cannot be heard

    c) Tuning up on the DX station’s frequency – if you send a tone for more than 50ms and the radio senses another signal on the frequency

    d) Sending or saying “up” or “down” on a frequency occupied by another signal

    e) Sending strings of dits or dahs, using profane language, going “ah ah ah” or broadcasting music or anything else recorded

    f) Calling if the DX op is asking for a region other than yours – the circuit can sense which region you reside in (Note only works if you are in NA/JA/EU)

    This list is not exhaustive and can be remotely adapted as poor operating practices change.

    It has also been acknowledged there is a risk that people will blow up their rigs simply because they inadvertently forget to put the split button in. Therefore the manufacturers are prepared at their cost to install a big flashing red light on top of your rig as a visual reminder but of course the risk of detonation remains with you. It should also go without saying but any attempt to remove the circuit will cause the rig to explode.

    On a more positive note it appears manufacturers are also jointly working on a new innovation for your transceiver to transmit a signal which blows up plasma TVs within a one mile radius of your house. This is expected to be a sure fire sales winner.

    Comments

    SHARE